2 Weeks After

It has been 2 weeks since we became parents of an angel. I would love to say that we are back in the groove and life is back to normal, but that would be a lie. I have to say though, God has blessed us with an abundant amount of love and support that has carried us through these weeks.
I am physically healed, well, I feel like it. We have an appointment on Wednesday to make sure that all is well.
Emotionally, I am doing well. I still have my days when the smallest thing will set me off-a comment, photo, tv show, whatever. That is to be expected, I can't just turn off the feelings that I had for our baby. I had a connection with that little person the day we found out that we were expecting. I wondered what if the babe was a boy or girl, who they were going to look like, what color hair would they have, when they would be born, how Westion would get along with a sibling only 16 months younger than he, if they would have been into sports or music, and so many other things.
My spirit is still in shock. I still can't figure out why God wanted our baby and I still get angry that he took him or her. I still can't worship in church without breaking down. Every time I try to sing, I get choked up and not a sound rings from my mouth. I want so much to enjoy singing hymns and praises to my saviour, but it hurts so much. It makes me wonder if I am having the hardest time at church b/c it was when we were at church that I discovered we were losing our baby. We pray for our family and our angel everyday and we pray that God will bless us with another baby soon. Thoughts fill my mind throughout the day of our lost one and I know that Satan is trying to wiggle his way in. He wants me to blame God and to walk away-it would be so easy. But then I remember that God is telling me with open arms, "Go ahead, yell at me, blame me, scream at the top of your lungs, hit me, spit on me-I CAN HANDLE IT. I love you and care for you. Fall on me and let me carry you. You are my child and I will not abandon you." Go ahead Satan, try and top that.
I think you get it-we are healing. We are not submitting to the lies of the "father of all lies". God is still here and will never leave. We never have to pray for God to be with us, b/c he never left us.
My God is the Lord of Lords, King of Kings, Rock of Ages, Comforter, Healer,Deliverer, the Alpha and Omega, The Beginning and The End, Almighty Counselor, Everlasting Father. He is Jehova, Immanuel, Savior, Mighty God, Lord of Everything, Redeemer, Friend, Prince of Peace. My God is the Great I AM. I could keep going, but for the sake of my fingers :) and my faulty memory;
Who wouldn't want to be in the hands of this God. Chad, Weston and I entrust our lives to Jesus Christ, even if that means letting go of the most precious things in our lives. We trust God and he has NEVER let us down. I may cry and I may have days when it feels like I am all alone, but that doesn't change who my God is.
I must now go and rescue my cutie pie who has woken up from his slumber: