In the Valley

I don't know how many of our friends and family read these posts, but I wanted to let you all know what has been happening with us. God calls us to be open and vulnerable with our fellow believers in Christ because as a body, we help eachother heal. Just as our human bodies can't heal without critical parts, our spiritual bodies can't heal without those that God has put in our lives to be our caregivers. I am going to be open and honest right now and I want you to know that I am not searching for sympathy but for a path to healing.
We were preparing to announce to our friends and the rest of the family that didn't already know that Weston was going to be a big brother in mid-August. However, this past weekend our lives were rocked to the core when God decided to call our 10 week old unborn baby into his precious hands.
We don't know why God decided to call our angel home to him and we never will be until we are in heaven with our father. I have gone through a gamut of emotions-anger, devastation, mourning, empathy-just to name a few.
As the days drag on, the tears are fewer and life is returning to "normal". I have found that the busier I stay, the easier it is not to fall into depression that so easily ensares me. My heart aches constantly and the only joys in my life right now are my son and my husband-who by the way, God definitely designed just for me. Chad has been so supportive and loving. When I start crying, he doesn't try to run, he opens his arms and lets me fall sobbing-snot, tears and all-onto him and he'll just hold me until I'm done. It doesn't matter what he's doing, he'll stop and put all of his focus on me. He doesn't force me to talk about it or to get over it. He just lets me grieve how I need to grieve. I just thank my God that he gave me such a wonderful husband.
We are doing better and better each day and we are clinging closer to God than ever before. The wound is still open and aching, but we are healing.
In advance, I want to thank you for your thoughts and prayers, which we desperately covet.
For those of you who have found about this right here and not by phone, I apologize, but we can only call so many people and repeat this so many times before it wears us thin.
The reason I rise in the morning:


p.s. My husband just read this and his only comment was that I misspelled "gamut". Gotta love him.